Daily, during the business week, I receive the Darren Daily email. The Darren Daily email is a short, usually under 5 minutes, video in which Darren Hardy, a success mentor to business owners, provides lessons (like Rainmaking Recommendations) to help you grow your business.
The video a few weeks ago (and each video is only available for 72 hours) was entitled “Avoiding Fakers, Pretenders, and Blowhards.” And the upshot of this lesson was that people who spend their time on social media discussing how successful they were or how important they were, were less likely to be successful. And that the most successful people who used social media were doing so to discuss their industry, help solve problems for their clients, or even talk up other people.
As Darren Hardy says in this video, the lesson is
“. . . don’t be a pretender. We see right through it. The more you talk about yourself, your great life, and your success, the more we know it’s BS. It just makes you look weak and needy.”
This brings me to today’s Rainmaking Recommendation – not to be jealous of others’ “supposed” success when you are reading posts they put up about themselves online. In all honesty, I have been experiencing this envy myself lately. The main reason for my experiencing this emotion is that I haven’t been able to do all that I have wanted to increase my business since the beginning of the year. And so, I read these posts and started to feel bad about myself. Fortunately, it took the Darren Daily episode to remind me not to be envious of others (particularly on social media).
I needed to be reminded that when you see certain posts – and I know you have seen the ones in which someone is leaning on the Maserati they “bought” (which is mostly a lease or even leased for the day for the photoshoot), or showing their blingy jewelry, or discussing the first class vacation they are on – are “fake it till you make it” posts and most of these people never make it.
And one more thing to realize is that most people only post the highlights of their life. Very few will discuss the low points, and if they do discuss them, they are doing so to milk sympathy from others. Getting likes and comments has been a proven dopamine hit that makes people feel good. And just as putting up pictures of all the good in their life can cause people to hit the like buttons, so can telling people how awful life is.
Instead, if you are going to use social media, particularly for business development purposes, you have to stop thinking about yourself and think about your clients. Remember, it’s not about you – it’s about them. So think and write about what they want or need to know.
Yes, you want to make sure that you inject your personality into what you post. But showing your character and stories only about yourself are two different things. Remember that the most successful people don’t have to show that they are successful
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